| What has marriage done for you?
I just feel a lot more settled in life. I think if I had
not been married, I would not have made
the choice to do this part. Eric is so
supportive of who I am and where I'm
trying to go as an actress and as a
black woman. It was refreshing to know
he could see that and say, "God, that
really looked beautiful," and not feel
insecure and try not to be like a ball
and chain. It's very much about letting
you fly.
How many songs have you inspired on Eric's new album?
[Smiles] About six. Well, his new album has a lot of love
songs, songs about people coming
together and what that feels like. The
songs are very loving.
What do you like to do during the summer when you're not
acting?
Usually just spend time with my family. I like to
rollerblade a lot, swim, play tennis.
Take time to do things. I travel so much
with my work, when I have time off,
that's usually the last thing I want to
do. I want to stay somewhere and feel
rooted. Just have some sort of normalcy
and regularity.
Is this the best time of your life?
Yeah, the happiest and the most comfortable.
You sound like you didn't expect to ever be happy or have a
good marriage. Are you surprised your
life has taken a turn for the better?
Yeah, I think I got preconditioned that maybe it just
wasn't for me. It feels really good to
know that it was just maybe some bad
choices. A lot of growth has taken place
and I've learned a lot of things about
myself and it feels good.
So it wasn't just a matter of finding the right guy?
I had to change in order to find what the right guy looks
like. So I think it's a little bit of
both.
What's the biggest lesson you've learned?
Just to be true to myself, which is why I did this movie.
I figured everyone was going to freak
out and say, "Why would you do that
after Dorothy Dandridge?" My answer is
"Because I can." And that feels really
good to be comfortable saying that.
Did winning the Emmy and Golden Globe awards
for Dandridge give you more confidence?
Absolutely. I can relax now in my life.
I think that's what shows. I'm just comfortable. If I don't make
another movie, if I don't win another award, I've made a contribution
that I can be really proud of. I don't have that desire anymore.
And I think things will come my way because I'm sort of loosened-up.
Do you mean you've lost your edge to push
your career?
Actually, it's the opposite. I feel freer
now, because I am so comfortable, to go after all those things I
was afraid of before, to take the risks. I think I used to be afraid
of that, and now with the awards and my personal life so comfortable,
I'm feeling even more inspired to try things that used to scare
me.
Dorothy Dandridge is your role model. What
was the importance of telling that story for you?
I think it was an eye-opener for a lot
of people. When they realized the struggle of her life, they had
more respect for her and for what minorities, especially African-Americans,
deal with in that industry. By me doing it, I think it says that
if little old me at 7 years old can have this dream and make it
happen, then you can pretty much do whatever you want to do. It's
not about making a movie, it can be whatever you want to do. It
can be losing a hundred pounds. It inspires people to believe they
can do it.
Did you have to overcome more as a black
woman or as a beautiful woman in Hollywood?
I think just being a woman in Hollywood
is something to overcome. But being black? Sure. I've pretty much
learned I can let that hinder me if I want to, I can use that as
an excuse, or I can fight for different kinds of roles, do crackheads
or more character kind of roles rather just rely on looks. Swordfish
is the first time, really, I relied on that. Because that's who
this character is: She uses her looks to get her way.
How do you feel now that you've become a
style icon and a resilient role model, especially for young black
women?
Right at this moment when you said that,
it feels very overwhelming. I do know, as part of the black community,
growing up I always needed someone to look up to and it was hard
to find those public images. I know how important it is and I see
little black girls and boys all the time who come up to me and tell
me I give them inspiration and that feels really good. But I've
learned I have to live my life for me. I can't half-step everything
I do wondering how every 10-year-old in Harlem will feel about it.
I still have to live my life for me but also know that as I go,
maybe other people are being inspired.
How do you feel about clothes?
I like dress-up. I started in beauty
pageants. I love fashion and hair and makeup, I love all that.
Do you ever feel like doing something with
that?
[Smiles] I don't know. I'm still trying
to crack this other nut and it just won't seem to let me crack it.
Later in life maybe I'll find the time.
Who are you wearing today?
A hodgepodge of designers. I'm not really
sure.
What is that blue circle tattoo sneaking
out of the top of your mini in the back?
That was covering a mistake of my first
marriage [to athlete David Justice]. I happened to tattoo his name
back there and a huge mistake that was. It's a design now, it says
nothing. I learned.
Are you comfortable having your personal
life be as well-known as your movie roles?
That's the only down part, but I realize
that's part of me. To all of a sudden say, "No more of that" would
be ridiculous. So it's trying to find the balance with my new relationship
— what I'm willing to share and what I'm not willing to share.
I need to keep some things for myself.
What inspires you today?
Because I have a family now, a husband
and a daughter, that's a good inspiration to work, make money for
college. I just want to do projects that I really want to do and
not have to worry what it will say about my career or the limitations
I've put on myself in the past. My options have opened way up, now
that I'm not saying no to nudity. And it doesn't have to be nudity
like this one — there were some movies that I said no to because
they had love scenes and I just didn't want to do that. Now I feel
more grown up and more adult and more willing to try those.
-- by Stephen Schaefer
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